REGINA BEACH, SK – Local camping enthusiast and retired Farm Credit Canada accountant, David Wilson (58), expressed his excitement today to get the “ol’ RV” out to campground and spend another summer braving the elements. Wilson had just lowered his Momentum G Class Fifth Wheel 320G onto his seasonal site at The Happy Camper Campground, just Southeast of Regina Beach, and invited our reporters in for a tour and interview.
“After spending all of that quarantine time indoors and in that damned concrete jungle, it’s so nice to be able to get back out to nature and live off the land, as God intended,” Wilson said as he turned on the electric fireplace from his smartphone. “The kids today are so pampered and so used to having their hands held the entire time they don’t get how great the simple life really is.” Wilson continued in a tirade against millennials and zoomers having life too easy, pacing freely in the ample room of his two-bedroom, two-bathroom camping unit equipped with both a King size main bed and Queen size guest bed. Once Mr. Wilson had regained his composure, he proceeded to explain to reporters the joys of living under the stars.
“It’s just so peaceful out here, you know? It’s just me and the sounds of nature; Disney Plus has all kinds of great nature shows, so does Netflix. I have both connected to the main TV and to my bedroom TV. If I get bored of that I can always put on an old hockey game or rent a movie on the satellite dish, too.” After distributing beverages to our reporters from the stainless-steel fridge, they inquired how Mr. Wilson spends his time in the great outdoors. “I make my way out here by living off the land. I begin the day with a hearty bacon and egg meal cooked right here on the glass counter top, I’ll then get out to where the real wildness is – Regina Beach Golf Club. After a quick nine, I’ll either take the jet ski out or make my way over to the campground services for groceries and maybe a pint. As for the evening? Well, that’s when I howl at the moon like the outdoors man that I am. I bust out the Hummingbird guitar and the propane fireplace and live the way our forefathers intended – grilling steaks bought at the Costco. It’s not an easy life out here and you can call me crazy for my uncivilized lifestyle, many do. But I will tell you this, once you catch the camping bug the only treatment is living a life that most aren’t hardy enough to handle these days.”
Mr. Wilson thanked our reporters for their time but needed to close the evening with a hot shower, a cup of tea, and an episode of Cheers from his DVD collection. He appreciated their time but explained that he must wake up early the next morning to feed his family by the traditional method of fishing passed on to him by his father – on an $80,000 speedboat with a built-in fish finder and GPS combo.