The Top 10 Tips to Cope with the Country Thunder 2020 Cancellation

20200603_Craven (Aranxa Esteve)
Photo Credit: Aranxa Esteve

Many people in Saskatchewan are disheartened by the news that Country Thunder, the country music festival based out of Craven, SK, has been postponed due to COVID-19 concerns. We at The Pot Hole share your disappointment, there is truly nothing worse going on in the world at the moment. This is why we wanted to share our Top 10 Tips to Cope with the Country Thunder 2020 Cancellation list. On this list, we share our tips to help you cope with the loss of a Saskatchewan staple and some tricks that you can use to simulate your own “Country Thunder from Home” experience this summer:

 

1 – Just because you cannot go to Country Thunder to spread COVID-19 does not mean that you cannot partake in the Country Thunder tradition of spreading chlamydia this July. There are many resources to help you with this such as Tinder or Gabbo’s Nightclub.

 

2 – The cancellation is not all bad news. Rather than supporting organized criminals that target larger events, you now have the opportunity to support local petty criminals by having them steal your F-150 in your own community.

 

3 – You can recreate the Country Thunder beer gardens experience at your local liquor store. Simply stand outside of the store for an hour, or at least until you have a blistering sunburn, and then overpay for your drinks by 30% (The Pot Hole Tip: Make this simulation even more real by having a drunken man in a banana hammock follow you the entire time).

 

4 – Not a tip, but this is a good opportunity to send some feelers out there and I’m taking it. At Country Thunder 2017, I lost my Harley Davidson Zippo after a keg stand. It is silver, black, and has some sweet flames wrapped around it. If you’ve seen it or have it, please give me an email at thepotholenews@gmail.com.

 

5 – Now is probably not the best time to whip out the ol’ Country Thunder RV Confederate Flag.

 

6 – You can throw a country music party in your backyard! Set up some lights, cook some mouth-watering meat on the grill and ice some beers to celebrate Craven weekend in your own backyard with close friends. Just make sure that you don’t invite that dickhead Darian Goodman from Earl Grey. He will hang out at your campsite all day, bum smokes off you, and will not leave. Like, read the room, man. Nobody knows you and nobody wants you here.

 

7 – Count your blessings. No disease could be worse than hearing “Happy Craven!” or the lyrics of Trace Atkin’s “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” for the billionth time over the span of two days. We’d take COVID-5000 over Trace Atkins singing the word “britches” any day.

 

8 – It is normal to grieve over the loss of getting a free frisbee filled with condoms. We are here for you, but that void will never be replaced until 2021.

 

9 – Simulate the experience of prepping for Craven by trying to collect what your friends still owe you from Country Thunder 2019.

 

10 – Be honest with yourself. Are you really missing out on anything aside from Luke Combs and The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band? We thought that Dan & Shay might have been awesome until we realized that they aren’t the TSN guys.