SPALDING, SK – Local father, Dwayne Anderson (41), has expressed his unbridled excitement at receiving yet another toolset even though his spirit yearns to express itself through the timeless art of painting.
“Oh boy, a Dewalt socket set,” said the artistically starved husband and father of three. “There’s so much work around the house that I can get done with this. Thanks, kids!” Anderson, who often daydreams of brushing majestic Saskatchewan sunsets and prairie winter landscapes in watercolour, settled for expressing his creativity by using the new socket set to repair a dollhouse and a kitchen drawer that his kids had broken the previous week.
“Both of those things did need to be fixed and I was the one to do it, again. There is a certain artistry to that. Now that I look at Jenna’s dollhouse up close, I do see that some of the paint is chipping on the exterior. I should also do something about this gaudy pink-wall and white-frame set up, too. I would bet that if a guy were to get a couple of brushes and some oil paint, he could take care of that in no time.”
Anderson, who has longed to paint ever since he was six years old, is reportedly happy with another socket set but truly wishes he could break free from what the world expects of him and paint to his heart’s content. “I imagine myself in a patio greenhouse, surrounded by the lush plants that I seeded in the spring. It is just me, some jazz, and maybe a beer or two as I paint the landscapes of my childhood that captured my heart,” said the man whose preconceived social notions are the only thing stopping him from pursuing true fulfillment. “Getting practical stuff for Father’s Day that I can use around the house or take fishing with me is a blessing, lots of men would love to have my life, I am happy with what I have. Who am I kidding? I can barely draw a stick figure, the idea of me being a painter is silly, anyway.”
At press time, Anderson could be found applying lacquer to his outdoor patio with a brush, sighing wistfully the masterpieces that will never be.