SASKATOON, SK – Local City of Saskatoon Parks and Recreation attendant and recently single Patrick McDonald (27) was reported to have spotted his ex-girlfriend of two weeks consuming multiple shots off of a hockey stick at The Great Canadian Brewhouse. Witnesses confirm that McDonald’s ex appeared to be knocking back subsequent shots of hard liquor that were lined up on a wooden Easton left-handed stick. McDonald, who had entered the Preston Ave. location after work for a Same Team Burger and a pint of Coors Light was in shock and awe at the sight of his previous lover, Taylor Kindel (22), annihilating shots of Captain Morgan’s spiced rum at approximately 4:15 p.m.
“She didn’t even seem like she was doing it out of heartache,” reported McDonald when reached for comment. “In fact, she was having the most fun that I’ve ever seen her have. Kinda makes me miss her.” Once the half-dozen shots from the stick had been inhaled by the continuing care aid, Kindel had made a rotating motion with her right index finger signalling the bartender to line-up another round on the stick. The bartender reluctantly obliged after a barrage of high-pitched squeals and goading from Kindel and her two female associates. McDonald, who was seated at a corner booth some distance from the bar was not noticed by Kindel, who had started her second round. She had also not noticed that her pink thong was visible to most of the patrons of the sports bar as it rode over her rhinestone jeans.
When The Pot Hole approached Kindel for a comment she responded with a belch and said, “Let’s get fucked up!” as she grabbed our reporter by the gonads and shoved her tongue into his mouth. Our sources confirmed that it tasted like the Taco’ Bout Salad Bowl and Next Blue cigarettes.
Several hours later, witnesses confirmed that McDonald and Kindel were seen leaving the establishment together after a brief altercation in the parking lot to pursue an enjoyable evening of drunken, public outercourse and screaming matches at Outlaws Country Rock Bar.