MAIDSTONE, SK – An unsettling, awkward yet unspoken revelation has been made in the town office of Maidstone, SK upon the realization by town council members that the entirety of its members also attends the same Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings. In what initially appeared to be a coincidence, members had found that they unanimously decided on 6:00 p.m. on Thursdays with each member believing that no one else knew that the schedule would give them ample time to attend the Thursday night AA meetings at 8:00 p.m. on Thursdays at the local United Church.
“My name is Earl Simmons and I am, uh, the chair for tonight’s town hall,” said Earl Simmons (57), the town’s longest serving member of town hall and a recovering alcoholic of thirty years.
“Hi, Earl,” the town council said in unison.
After discussing issues surrounding the Maidstone area such as new zoning laws, streets and signs that are in need of repair, budgetary concerns over the water treatment plant, and scheduling to repaint a local playground, the members took a brief break to eat store-bought pastries, drink coffee from a steel urn and smoke an excessive amount of cigarettes. The anxiety over the fact that they all recognized each other from the quasi-religious recovery group but could not speak of it or acknowledge it was palpable.
“That clown Randall Grebowski thinks that we will be able to keep the flooding down with a little bit of extra trenching up by the Ryhorski’s quarter of land,” said Donovan Foster (34). “I’m not trusting our town’s property to someone who can’t even get past Stage 5.”
Upon the meeting’s adjournment, the entire town council got into their separate vehicles to drive a few blocks away to support each other through their recoveries and to empathize with their regrets during alcoholism.
At press time, Simmons and a local town council member got into a heated debate over the implementation of rodent traps to control raccoon populations briefly after the Serenity Prayer.