Today on The Pot Hole News, we are pleased to present a special feature. We had the pleasure to sit down with renowned professional wrestler and Saskatchewan-born Michael Allen Richard Clark (MARC) who has wrestled under such promotions as High Impact Wrestling (HIW) and The Prairie Wrestling Alliance (PWA).
Clark is known for his powerful moves, his bad-boy attitude, his passion for fitness, and his signature swagger that he refers to as “Flex Appeal”. In a one-on-one interview that was arranged by his agent we were able to sit down with the wrestling titan to talk shop with him on the world of professional wrestling in Western Canada. Here is a transcribed interview done by one of our many unpaid interns below, please note that questions from our reporters are labelled as TPHN and his responses are labelled as MARC:
TPHN: Hello, Michael. It is good to have you here. Thank you for joining us. It is an honour that you chose us to do a local interview.
MARC: I would say that you’re welcome, but that would imply that you are. Do you honestly believe that I would willingly choose some two-bit, Mickey Mouse internet news site that nobody reads to do an interview with? If you do, you are as dumb as you look. Based off looking at you, that is a level of stupidity that not even an average public transportation commuter could match.
THPN: Regardless, we are glad that you are here. If we may ask, why were we not your first choice? We are Saskatchewan’s Realest News Source, after all.
MARC: I’m only here because my agent is making me do some public outreach due to derogatory comments I had made on Twitter about those who use public transportation, especially buses. My agent said I need to protect my image and all other news sites have been overbooked from COVID and riots, so here I am on some crumb-bum (air-quotes) news site (end quotes) that is really just barely a blog.
TPHN: Care to share what those comments on Twitter were?
TPHN: With the recent closure of High Impact Wrestling, there is less opportunity for Saskatchewan professional wrestling fans to promote their local scene. Do you care to comment on that?
MARC: The fans are the only reason why I am who I am today. You know, besides my own hard work and dedication to my craft. I hope that we can return as many promotions to Saskatchewan cities and keep a thriving fan base right here at home.
TPHN: Do you think that wrestling fans in Saskatchewan will lose interest now that $5 beer and smokie & pierogi supper deals aren’t readily available at The Hungarian Club?
MARC: Sadly, yes.
TPHN: You often refer to your brand, your crew, and your overall attitude as “Flex Appeal”. I think that is so cool. I had heard of sex appeal before but never Flex Appeal. How did you come up with that?
MARC: Do you really need me to explain that to you?
TPHN: Well, um, not for us. We totally get it, maybe our readers won’t though, and it might be best to explain it to them.
MARC: I am sure that they will get it. Then again, if they read this site then they probably are a few sandwiches short of a picnic. Either way, I’m not explaining it.
TPHN: You are a huge advocate of fitness and are proud of your physique. Would you care to share some fitness tips with The Pot Hole News?
MARC: What do you want me to say? It isn’t rocket science – watch what you eat, lift heavy and lift often, and get lots of sleep. If you want fitness tips, go to Bodybuilding (.com).
TPHN: Do you think that we could ever go to the gym together?
MARC: Step foot into a gym on your own for even just once in your life, then maybe we will talk about doing a workout together.
TPHN: You are an outspoken Pantera fan. We at The Pot Hole News are also know to dabble in some pretty hardcore music like Maroon 5, City and Colour, and Cage the Elephant. Do you like any of those bands?
MARC: No. You know nothing about music, in fact, it is a miracle that you can even speak.
TPHN: I do know that Rex Brown is an underrated bassist and held his grooves in the pocket perfectly for Pantera’s music. It is just a tragic case of a competent musician being in a band with so many superstars.
MARC: That is the first thing that you said that I agree with. If even you know that everybody should, yet they don’t. What is wrong with this world?
TPHN: Well, Michael, I think that it is time for me to leave my office and wrap this interview up. Is there anything else that you would like to say or promote?
MARC: First of all, we’re not in an office. We are in the Tim Horton’s on the corner of 4th and Albert St., Regina. Secondly, I highly doubt that you have anything else going on now and for the rest of your life. Why do you need to leave so suddenly?
TPHN: I need to catch the 5:40 Albert Express bus. We can keep going if you would like to give me a ride later, though?
TPHN: Fair enough. In that case, can I get a 50-cent spot for the rest of my bus fare?
MARC: Get the fuck out of here.
At the time of this publication, Michael Allen Richard Clarks’s agent and legal team informed us that we are never to speak to him again or attempt to make any contact with him. The only exception is that we are contractually obligated to promote his social media feeds for his fan base. We may never get the chance to speak with you again, Michael, but we will always be fans and “Flex Appealing” from the sidelines.
To keep up with MARC and the local SK wrestling scene, give him a follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter! If you are tired of your flabby, pencil-neck life you can also check out his YouTube channel and get HUGE with his latest workout videos!