ARBORFIELD, SK – At the time of this publication, love is in the air for the elk population of Saskatchewan. The early rut is on, the bulls are on the search to collect their harems for the fall and winter, and the cows are looking to join one. The wapitis are on the move and are celebrating this pivotal time in every adult elk’s life.
For one local two-year old bull elk, however, this is no time to celebrate. The Pot Hole News sat down with this bull elk, who we will call “James” in order to protect his anonymity, to speak with him on the experiences of younger and less experienced bulls during the rutting season. James is an avid Bull’s Rights Activist and frequents online forum communities such as Bulls Going Their Own Way and Involuntary Harem-less. He realizes that he might not be as physically attractive as the seven-year old bulls out there with their massive antlers and rippling bodies but is actually a really nice bull if a cow would ever just give him a chance.
“I don’t even bother chasing estrus scents or calls anymore,” says James. “What is the point? The feminist media has convinced every cow out there that the only bulls worth it must have at least six points and 5 acres in territory. The bulls who would actually treat a cow decently, like me, don’t have a chance because every cow these days are either a bitch or a total slut. They wouldn’t want to be with a bull, like me, who would actually treat them with respect.”
James continued to point out the flaws in elk’s societal hierarchies, pointing out that oftentimes the big, strong bulls, who he referred to as “Chads”, will often send the cows out to feed first so that if danger arises the bull can make a swift getaway. James, who has yet to collect a harem, argues that he would always be the first one out. Despite this, cows always choose the jerk who will never treat them right because they don’t know any better.
At press time, James could be found on Reddit rehearsing what he had heard from incel elk Youtube channels rather than calling for and talking to a cow, himself.