SASKATOON, SK – In an effort to rebuild the municipal budget and to repair their public image after being scammed out of one million dollars by a fraudulent construction company, the City of Saskatoon is pleased to announce that all outstanding municipal taxes from the years 2016 – 2020 have been successfully paid.
“We were not actually even aware of the deficit in our budget,” says David Malone, a spokesperson for the City of Saskatoon. “A friendly representative from Services Canada, Criminal Investigation Department actually called us to inform us of the discrepancy. I still can’t believe how kind of him that was to do that.”
Malone reported that the City of Saskatoon owed Services Canada nearly $400,000 in unpaid municipal and property taxes. He also stated that several arrest warrants were placed in his name, along with many other members of the city’s municipal board, including Mayor Charlie Clark.
“Not only did the RCMP have several warrants for our arrest, but there were also multiple legal charges and allegations being held in our names. We knew that we had to act fast, otherwise, the entire city could have been run by a board who all had suspended Social Insurance Numbers!”
Sources confirm that Malone and Clark drove to the Walmart Supercentre at 225 Betts Ave with Services Canada on the phone the entire time to receive instructions. The pair reportedly purchased $395,700 worth of Apple iTunes gift cards from the local shopping centre and then promptly uploaded the card codes and sent them to Service Canada.
“We are just over the moon that these outstanding debts have been paid,” says Malone. “Now, the people of Saskatoon can start having faith in city council again and Saskatoon is back on track for a bright economic future!”
The City of Regina has been implementing a similar economic strategy to keep the creditors from the new Mosaic Stadium construction off their doorsteps. Mayor Micheal Fougere has announced that the city has paid a security and shipping deposit of $200,000 via Western Union for a Nigerian delegate from the International Monetary Fund to send the City of Regina 30 million dollars from the Bank of Western Africa.
When asked to comment on the City of Regina’s upcoming influx of money, former Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall refused to make a statement.