Report: Where is My Goddamn 10mm!?

I am so sick and tired of this. I let you use my tools time and time again. What do I get in return for my consistent generosity? Bullshit! That’s what I get.

I know that you have never worked a day in your life, so it will probably be hard for you to empathize with me here but try thinking of something other than yourself, possibly for the first time in your life and imagine this: You have been working for more than ten hours, and you haven’t eaten in at least five. You are hungry, tired, and just want to lie in bed. But guess what? You can’t. Your wife wants the snow blower tuned-up tonight even though she barely knows how to use the fuckin’ thing. It’s literally one of the first snowfalls of the year, you’re not even gonna need it ‘til at least December, for fuck’s sake. But you know how arguing with a woman goes. So, you pull it into the garage to get it ready for winter.

You have the tools and the know-how to get the engine tuned-up, all you have to do is remove a few pieces to get to work. Want to know the size of the bolts that hold those pieces together? Are you piecing this together? It’s 10mm. Now, I know for a fact that you don’t understand this, but the 10mm wrenches and sockets actually belong somewhere. They don’t belong wherever you feel like leaving them, not in your coat pocket, and not on the fucking floor. I could have been done this already if I weren’t dicking around looking for my 10mms, for Christ’s sake.

Surely, even someone as thick as you remembers that you would have had to take the 10mm from a drawer and the socket from a plastic case that sits on a shelf under the work bench. Did it not occur to you that maybe, just maybe, it would have been worth the extra ten seconds to put them back? You have time to drink beer all day and scratch your nuts on the couch, but your time is so valuable that you can’t be bothered to do that? 

Listen, next time your sled craps out on you or you bend your chainsaw to shit again you go and tell your sob story to someone else. I don’t want to hear it. You can go lose some other sucker’s tools. I am so done with this.