Report: Fuck this Noise

SASKATOON, SK – Saskatchewanian citizens and climate scientists have “had it” with the recent snowstorm that resulted in up to 30 cm of snow in Saskatoon and many parts of the Northern regions of Saskatchewan. The Pot Hole News has received opinions about the amount of snow, with many civilians referring to it as “fucking garbage”. Meanwhile, professionals in the fields of climate and meteorology have referred to the snowfall phenomenon as “complete horseshit”.

“Not only do I have to go to work today, but I also get to come home to shovelling a metric ton of white horseshit,” says Roger Prundun (40). “Who else is going to do it? My wife? My two lazy, good-for-nothing kids? I don’t think so.”

Prundun was not the only one in SK dissatisfied with the snowfall. Climate scientists such as Dr. Kayla McIlduff from the Weather Network also voiced that the snowfall will impact the day-to-day lives of Saskatchewan folk.

“Do you have any idea how Goddamn hard it is to find decent parking in downtown Saskatoon?” said Dr. McIlduff in a statement earlier today. “On top of that, we now have cars buried in the snow and all of these [redacted] and [redacted] winter drivers out there that don’t know the difference between their ass and a hole in the ground.”

Other climate scientists in the province echoed Dr. McIlduff’s sentiments. Many of the reports submitted in regards to the snowfall mentioned the phrases “pain in the ass” and “I might have to borrow my buddy’s truck.”

At press time, witnesses have confirmed that the only group not enraged by the snowfall was the Saskatchewan Snowmobile Association. The group released a press conference today that consisted mostly of emulating the sounds of their sled’s engines by yelling “brahping” noises and making gestures of revving up their snowmobiles.