REGINA, SK – The holiday season of 2020 may be a bleak one for many SK residents with the rise of COVID-19 restrictions preventing gatherings and family get-togethers and the financial strain of increased joblessness and underemployment. Fortunately, easyfinancial is here to
take advantage of help indebted and low-income families through the holiday season.
“Our mandate is simple: we are here to help the uninformed become lifelong customers by enticing them with a short-term solution and then crushing them with interest rates that they could not possibly pay off,” said Jamie Glasier, an easyfinancial spokesperson. “If there’s a single mother who is struggling to buy her kids food over the holidays but isn’t paying $8,000 for a washing machine over the course of four years with an APR rate of over 40%, there is something seriously wrong with this world.”
easyfinancial and their sister company EasyHome promises to make the holiday season the best that it can be delivered by an organized crime underbelly and barely disguised payday lending. Although being literally only a step away from loansharking, complete with sending thugs to your doorstep, easyfinancial wants SK residents to feel safe and secure with the decision to borrow that will cripple them financially and emotionally for many years to come.
“They have such nice commercials. On TV they promised me that they wouldn’t turn me down where the banks would,” said Sandra Smith (77). “My son told me to stay away because they are wolves, but when I go in to make my monthly payments all I see are sheep.”
At press time, easyfinancial marketing staff were planning a COVID-19 related “We’re in This Together” advertising campaign while the collection department endlessly berated, threatened, and insulted Mrs. Smith, only pausing to laugh at her hopeless sobbing.