ELROSE, SK – Local agriculture parts salesman and feminist ally hero, Daniel Samuelson (33), has once again set the standard for men everywhere to celebrate the women in their lives by doing his annual dishwashing ceremony for his girlfriend and local nurse, Jamie Hatfield (29).
In a stunning display of affection and admiration of the fairer sex, Samuelson reportedly washed six dinner plates, eight forks, seven spoons, four coffee mugs, 2 dessert plates, and three drinking glasses, including a Rolling Rock pint glass that had been sitting in the bedroom for over a week.
“I’m no hero,” said Samuelson, who had been drinking a beer and having a chew while washing the dishes for the first time since him and Hatfield moved in together in 2018, “I just grew up watching a good father who knew how to treat a woman. In a way, Jamie owes a thank you to him for her International Women’s Day treatment.”
At press time, Samuelson confirmed his plans to multitask his zealous adoration of one of the most important women in his life by having ten minutes of exclusively penetrative sex with her without outercourse or foreplay while the remainder of the pots and pans had time to soak.