St. Patty’s Day Party Consists of Only Two Guys in Town Who Are in Their Twenties

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OGEMA, SK – St. Patrick’s Day is alive and well in the town of Ogema despite the pandemic and the fact that their are only two people in the town taking part in the festivities. The two young men, Jacob Bizewski (23) and Aaron Novac (24), are ensuring that the spirit of the Irish thrives in the small southern community by splitting a pack of Great Western Pilsner in Bizewski’s garage on a Wednesday afternoon.

“We usually have a few beers after our shifts at Nutrien on Wednesdays, anyway,” says Bizewski. “It’s pretty much the same thing except we got a two-four instead of splitting a sixer and just threw some green shit on.”

The two laborers announced their plan to throw a St. Patrick’s Day party at work that promisised to include, ‘beers and bitchin’ tunes.’ Despite these inciting promises, the vicenarian duo were met with a lukewarm response, at best.

“I’ll probably just wear a John Deer sweater to work that day,” said a Gen X Nutrien colleague. “Besides, I have to get back to my kids after work and my wife doesn’t like it when I stay out for too long after supper.”

“They all missed out on a good time, bro,” said Novac, speaking over the Dropkick Murphey’s ‘Shipping Out to Boston’. “It’s warm enough now that we can play beer darts and we even got green dye. It’s gonna be a good night.”

When asked what the plans were to attend work the next day after spending all night drinking, the duo shrugged and said it, “would probably be fine.”

Amanda Slinn, a local woman in her thirties, considered joining the party but did not want to take the next week off work to nurse a hangover.