REGINA, SK – More and more age groups are getting access to the COVID-19 vaccine as they continue to roll-out in the province. Scott Moe has assured everybody that he’s, like, totally ok to drive and that more vaccines will be delivered to a wider population sample. Although the Sask Party is aware of the unpopularity in their vaccine availability decisions, they strictly stand by it.
“We must protect our most vulnerable populations from our most dangerous ones,” Moe said in a press conference. “By our most dangerous, I of course am referring to Gen Xers with shitty, faded tribal tattoos. They are as unpredictable as they are tacky, they literally wear their lack of common sense or taste on their sleeves. Our sick and elderly should not have to pay for their poor decisions.”
Although Mr. Moe approached the vaccination decision with a stern disposition, Dr. Shaqib Shahab, Saskatchewan’s Chief Medical Officer, provided a more sympathetic attitude.
“They probably deserve a W at some point in their lives,” says Dr. Shahab. “This population group also obviously does not make the best choices in life, why should our healthcare system let them down the way that their rapidly-declining testosterone is to them?”
The Pot Hole News attempted to reach out to a Gen Xer with tribal tattoos for comment on the vaccine, but found that the entire population had driven to British Columbia in their Ford F-350s for a rock-climbing trip.