SASKATOON, SK – A forlorn Carhartt toque has reached out to The Pot Hole News in a desperate bid to escape its captor and find a forever home. The toque has been owned by Saskatoon-born Instagram influencer, Amelia Summers (23), for the past two years. Since that time, the headwear has been subjected to unusual and cruel treatment including, but not limited to, beach photoshoots, attending EDM music festivals, and frivolous vacations.
Since her ownership of the toque, people have criticized the young woman for removing the item from its natural habitat. Both experts and laypeople agree that Carhartt apparel belongs in a warehouse or a worksite, not in a professional photo studio or at a café in Paris.
The toque agreed with this sentiment in a direct interview.
“A Carhartt should smell like a combination of an old grain truck and № Seven cigarettes, not strawberry-lavender shampoo and Chanel № 5,” said the piece of winter apparel, bursting into tears.
At press time, the toque looked wistfully at a construction worker drinking a double-double while it was being hauled to a photoshoot to promote a grapefruit-flavored vodka.